This girl is more easily done than said...
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
