i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
