Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Randomize
