kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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