What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
