Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
