So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
