dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
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