Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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