this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
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