I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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