i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Randomize
