That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
