how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
