Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Randomize
