i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
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