I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
stop texting me from phones in the verizon store and pretending to be guys i talked to when i was drunk. its confusing.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
Randomize
