Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize