physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
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