I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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