i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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