How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
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