Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
