I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
