who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
