Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
