I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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