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You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Bring me that man meat
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
