Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Randomize
