He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
