the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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