i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
