oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
