the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
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