If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Damn victory sex feels great
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
