C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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