So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Randomize