So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
