i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
third nipple confirmed
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
