Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
