Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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