He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
