Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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