One girl and one boy is just not enough.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
It's no shave November. This is our time.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize