Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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