I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
