I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
