u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
