Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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