The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
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