Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
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