So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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