Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
