And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
