a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
Randomize
